I blame it on Comcast

Damn you Comcast, and your free cable. The wife and I agreed to add on cable for free when we hooked up our home phone and internet. And now, a few months later, can I name the last book I read? How about articulating the world around me without using the limited vocabulary of “awesome” or “amazing”? And when did I last write a blog post or even in my journal?

Illiteracy via free cable! The front part of my brain is actually liquefying! And, even worse, I am starting to give a damn about Kim and Kanye’s relationship. Sweet Jesus.

Ok, I am taking the boob tube by the horns and instituting a new rule: daily journal writing in the morning, which I think will help inspire other writing. And at least 15 minutes of reading before I go to bed. Baby steps out of the intellectual desert of cable. (But I still claim the right to watch The Voice, The Simpsons, and the upcoming season of The Killing on AMC.)

Ok, so since I disappeared into the grey mist of free Cable land, the following has happened:

1.) I am starting my 18th week of pregnancy!! Boom boom!

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 (this was from about 3 weeks ago. all the photos since then are me without enough clothes on. I will spare you from seeing my cellulite expand during pregnancy.)


2.) The babies passed all their genetic screenings like champs (we did the nuchal translucency and the Materni21 blood test of fetal DNA)!!

3.) It’s a 90% chance that the babies are girls. The Materni21 tests fetal DNA, including the sex chromosomes. And it was ALL xx in there.

4.) They are really cute.

"Biggie Smalls" at 16 weeks. 

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Half Pint at 16 weeks

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I love them more than can be expressed in the letters of a word. A fierce momma protectiveness has already arisen in me. I would fall on any sword to clear the way for these girls.

5. The fear that plagued me in the first trimester continues to decrease. I have to get past the anatomy ultrasound at 21 weeks, which is a nail biter even with 99% confirmation that there are no chormosomal abnormalities. All of the pregnancy milestones elicit a bit of fear in me. How could they not? It’s life and death stuff. Once I hit 24 weeks (viability) I think the fear will be under my heel.

6. I want to be awake for every second of this pregnancy. Coming out of this Comcast and first trimester fear haze, I want to pick up every second of this pregnancy, of my time with these two girls, and hold it, smell it, savor it, feel it between my fingers and on my skin. I have no guarantee of another day with them and I want to treasure every moment. Before I fall asleep at night I thank God for giving me the last 24 hours with them and ask for another. I don’t want to take any of this for granted. Hence shutting off Comcast, picking up a pen and sitting in meditation.

7. I pulled a muscle in my rib while puking a few weeks ago and it hurts like a bitch. And is taking forever to heal. Luxury problems.

Those are the main points that I wanted to recap. Until next time….